Monday, June 20

All Those Yesterdays

I know I'm young

I know I haven't seen my share of life

I know that more is to come

This blog is dedicated to my friends that have taken their lives in the past couple years and for the ones that their hearts were too big that God couldn't let them live.

Zeak, Whitney, and Bo

 This was a date that I went on with Bo. (He's in the red)

I feel like you were stolen. That I'll find you soon, that you're not really gone. That I can still hear your laughter, your voice.

I'm worried I won't remember it for much long. 

Zeak, and Bo were easier because of the distance, but I shouldn't say it was easier just more surreal. I don't miss them any less.

Whitney, yours was hard to deal with. I am lucky I had my dear sweet husband to lean on; to cry on. You disappeared for a month, I was hoping you had just ran off to Mexico or Cali. But I knew that wasn't it. My heart broke for you. You are loved by so many. Your memorial service was packed, your friends stood out in the rain to be close to you for one last time, even if they couldn't hear your mom, dad and sister speak. Just prior to you disappearing we had just pulled an all nighter at Costco making pumpkin pies! I had picked you up and we jammed out to Ke$ha in the parking lot. Despite working Midnight to 8:30 am we had a blast. You made it easier.   

I swear I can still hear your laughter, sometimes I turn around just to see.

Whitney, I love you.

Zeak, you were taken too soon, we weren't ready. ( I won't say that you weren't because maybe they needed you too) We love you.

Bo, I only knew you for two years, you were my Student Body President, we went on a date. You were a wonderful man.

This is a poem I wrote years ago. I will share it with you now.


Dip below the horizon, feel the breeze
Let the angles graze your skin, feel the love
Let time fly past you, feel it freeze
Sleepless roads drive you to madness and above

Write your name in the timeless sky
Free fall to the world you used to know
Speak to me in riddles or just lie
Let the storm make you bend and bow

It’s always raining here in the dark
Time and place slip through the delicate cracks
Hold onto light as the morning lark
My love, can you give me what you lack?

Traces of time never end here
Let hope, love, and life take steer